I’m having a bit of trouble in my teen years… someone I hold dear very dear has gone.
She’s gone and I’m still here and she’s not dead or deceased but I’m unable to get in contact with her for reasons the cosmic universe chose for me.
We very much love each other but it was time to part. She’s reminded me that this matrix is worthwhile and she’s shown me that I’m worth it too.
Dear Nick,
I miss her.
I miss her
I miss her.

Dear Hajra,

This brave and beautiful letter is full of youthful longing and preternatural wisdom. Your understanding that ‘this matrix is worthwhile’ is an insight it took many of us a lifetime to figure out. You seem to comprehend and accept the wayward mechanics of love—frequently unfair, even cruel, but the animating principle of the world, nonetheless. Ultimately, a broken heart or an obstructed love is proof of life, for there is nothing as wildly expansive as the yearning heart. It proclaims our existence as part of the universe. We hurt deeply because we love deeply. The dead heart, the dull heart, the cynical heart, the unimaginative heart, the unredeemed heart, resides outside the law of life, disconnected and unnatural, for we are creatures made to love, duty-bound to do so.

I’m sorry you miss your friend, Hajra, but I am pleased that in your temporary pain (your heart will mend in time), you have not rejected the world but live inside its broken poetry. This distressing but sometimes necessary place teaches us that, as you so powerfully put it, ‘this matrix is worthwhile’. This is as lovely a thought as it is possible to have. I wish you well and thank you for your beautiful words.

Love, Nick

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